What does make us change our actions? Tali Sharot reveals three ingredients to doing what's good for yourself. Dr. Tali Sharot is a neuroscientist at University College London and the director of the Affective Brain Lab. She is a faculty member of the department of Experimental Psychology, a Wellcome Trust Fellow, and currently a visiting Professor at Harvard Medical School. Her research focuses on how emotion, motivation, and social factors influence our expectations, decisions, and memories. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
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i even had to motivate myself to watch this
I used to hate doing dishes. I always did them by myself growing up because my 2 siblings one older one younger would start a fight with me and I would fall into their trap by telling them to leave and I would do it by myself which is what they ultimately wanted. Somehow I would be blamed for causing the fights. So if they were gone I couldn't be blamed. Fast forward after marriage having to to dishes myself I began to leave them, as my mother did. But one day it changed. I was making a pot of tea. While waiting for the water to boil I was going to leave the kitchen and watch tv. But I would not know when the water was boiling. So I washed the dishes while waiting. It took about the same time to finish the dishes as it took to heat the water and brew the tea. I realized the chore was not as bad as it seemed and I got my reward of a hot cup of tea I enjoyed more knowing I had all ready done the chore I dreaded. I got into doing this everyday. Now I dont have to have the tea any more to do the dishes I enjoy doing them knowing how short a time it takes and I do them after every meal. I can enjoy going into the kitchen more because it is neat and clean. I must have had a lot of negative things associated with dishwashing. Thanks to cup of tea, no more.
All of these 2020 comments taught me that we are all coming here for self help. Proud of you all
1. Social incentives 2. Immediate reward 3. Progress monitoring
I know why social media is very addictive for us. Because it gives us the immediate reward by the time we post something (‘likes’ notification) which we don’t easily get in a real social interaction. That’s why some people look superior in social media but lack of confidence in their real life. By listening to this talk, I definitely agree that we need to focus more on the progress of what we/other people do, instead of the results. Because we cannot please people to give us the reward, so we have to value our progressing work as the reward.
I'm trying to stay motivated to keep watching this.
How to motivate yourself to change your behaviour: 1. Social incentives (aka Social proof) 2. Immediate rewards (aka Instant gratification) 3. Progress monitoring (aka Show them the benefits)
I had to watch this 2-3 times to really grasp what she was saying. She is not saying HOW TO motivate ourself rather HOW WE get motivated. 1. Social incentive- we are motivated through the positive actions of others. Ex. If we see our friend post a picture of themself at the gym then we want to do the same. 2. Progress monitoring- We are motivated by seeing progress. Ex. If we start working out too and we see progress by weighing ourself then that helps motivate us to continue. 3. Immediate Reward- reward your good behavior. Ex. If i workout this whole week then I will treat myself over the weekend. Maybe some pizza or ice cream 😉
That's how I raised my daughter with encouragement instead of punishment, worked out pretty great.
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” ― Dale Carnegie
Notes: -Science shows that warning has little influence on behavior; it's effective but limited. -People tend to change their beliefs towards a more desirable option (in all ages) -Kids, teenagers, and elderly people are less likely to learn from warnings Three principles that drive the behavior and mind 1-Social incentive: we are motivated through the positive actions of others. 2-Immediate reward: reward your good behavior. 3-Progress monitoring: We are motivated by seeing progress. -Highlight the process, not the decline -Giving people a sense of control is a motivator
Less than a minute in “ so let’s say your trying to stop yourself from snacking” *freezes midbite in my ice cream bar*
I quit smoking because of the idea that i was wasting my time and not my health. 1 cig = 5 minutes 1pack = 100 minutes 1pack per day over a month = 50 hours It's up to you to decide for what you want to spend this time, plus it tastes and smells awful
I can sum up this entire talk with an old proverb: " You catch more flies with honey than vinegar".
Notes: Most used strategy: Threats and Warnings. ---> Scare ourselves and others to change behaviors. Science shows that on average: warnings have very limited impact on behavior. Why? The common response on animals when threatened, is either freezing or fleeing NOT fighting, and this is the same for human beings. When something scares us, we tend to shut down and get rid of negative feelings like using rationalizations. This can cause a boomerang effect which means that we become more resilient with the behavior we want to change. People tend to change their beliefs to the most popular opinion ( positive information more likely). Results show that in all age groups take in information that you want to hear rather than information that they didn't want to hear. Kids/Teenagers/ Elderly: Did not respond to bad news. The three principles to change behavior: 1. Social incentives ( what people think about you, what other people are doing, and what we can do to do better than others). 2. Immediate reward ( can be as simple as praise) ( reward yourself or others now, in order to reach a desirable alternative goal in the future, one that the misbehavior can lead to a loss of the desired future goal. Example, if you stop smoking now, you can run 10 km more and win that race) 3. Progress monitoring: We need to put up a measurement tool that allows us to progress ourselves, whether it was for us or other people. When we see the progress and the positive outcome of our behaviors, it will likely make us want to stick with what we are doing.
I play a little mind game that I learned from “Your Success Method by Michael Kennedy” …so whenever I feel that I’m gonna procrastinate on a task or feeling that my motivation is off, I start playing this “game” in my mind that reframes the whole task and makes it a whole lot easier for me to work on the task instead of letting my mind say “I’ll do it later”, its not the same as visualisations which is less powerful IMO
"Fear induces inactoin while the thril of a gain induces action" well said!
Great talk! Also explains why all the little games on mobile phones are so terribly addictive: immediate reward (3 stars), gradual increase of challenge, possibility to do a level over and see immediate improvement, compare with results of others etc. Especially for kids, real life has a hard time competing with that, it's just "too much effort and too little / too distant reward".
My comment will probably get lost but whoever reads this.. You got this! Whatever you are going through will get better hang in there ✨❤️
Stop reacting to others and start responding. Reaction is automatic. Responding is consciously choosing your response. If you don't like your results, change your input, your thoughts, emotions, and expectations. - Marc Reklau