Behavior Expert Reveals Exactly What To Say To A Narcissist

It's all very interesting, however, dealing with a narcissist is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how you frame it, explain the rules etc, in the end, the pigeon will jump onto the chessboard, upset all the pieces, crap all over and fly away declaring itself a winner. You can analyse narcissistic behaviour for your own sake if it helps you understand what's going on (like observing a pigeon to learn about pigeons), but it's important to remember - narcissists don't want to solve anything. And for every solution you come up with - they come back at you with 10 more problems. Sad but true...

How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb 💡?? None - they use gaslighting !!

4 secrets of life that helped me massively, that no one will tell you for free: 1. Say less, but when you do make it hit hard. The most powerful people don’t waste words, but when they speak, everyone pays attention. 2. Learn how the brain actually makes decisions. Once you understand what truly drives people, you won’t have to convince them they’ll think it was their idea all along. 3. Read the forbidden books on power and influence. The one that changed everything for me? Ancient Laws of Influence by Alex Brown. This book reveals secrets that have been buried for centuries. 4. Your presence speaks before you do. People can feel who’s in control without a single word. The secret? Master yourself first, and power will follow naturally.

Best advice I’ve heard : DEEP: DON’T defend DON’T engage DON’T explain DON’T personalize Best formula you’ll ever need to save your mental health when dealing with a narcissist

Anything you bring to light whether it’s non-confrontational or not, will always be confrontational to a narcissist.

My best tactic that worked every single time…as soon as I started feeling that the conversation was going sideways.. I would say “can you just hold that thought? I have to go to the bathroom”….. this always gave me the time I needed to plan my response or my exit!

People unless you are a dependent child... RUN RUN AWAY from.these toxic humans! You can't fix them!

By the time a person realises they are dealing with a narc, its potentially too late. You are in a disoriented, emotionally fragile state. A deer in headlights. Please don't try to stay and try to fight through. Unless you are trained to deal with these people, walk away. They will destroy you.

It’s the covert narcissists that are the hardest to deal with. They do things for you that you didn’t ask them to do and then use that as a weapon to control you. For instance, buying you things you don’t even need or want, then start telling you how to run your life, or berating you for not loading the dishwasher correctly or doing things their way. And when you try to stand up for yourself they act like a victim and that they’re only trying to help and that you’re ungrateful or unkind. These people are usually really charming and helpful to everyone, but behave very controlling to those closest to them, so everyone believes them when they say how awful you are! It’s soul crushing.

I worked for a bully and a narcissist about 20 years ago and was terrified of her for a few years. Then one day she completely and publicly humiliated a colleague so I completely and publicly defended my co worker in a very calm but assertive voice. I’ve no idea where the courage came from but I can tell you this, she never bothered me ever again because she lost her power and she knew it. I wish you’d been around when all of this was going on but this video will be so very helpful to others.

Some commentators seem to think that you are suggesting that recognition & knowing how to respond to a Narcissist will cause them to reflect, apologize and change!!! Evidently they don’t fully understand the video posted. It’s not about “changing a Narcissist”. It’s about “DISARMING A NARCISSIST”! Like Lions, Tigers and Bears a Narcissist DOES NOT change. BUT YOU HAVE TO RECOGNIZE AND KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THE ANIMAL YOU ARE DEALING WITH!!!

So draining... I'd rather completely avoid such people...

Dealing with a Narc is like doing time for a crime you didn't commit; therefore, be your own Judge and Jury to free yourself.

Ultimately it doesn’t matter what you say to a narcissist. Say whatever you want. They’re not listening to a word of it.

The example he gives is one of having to interact with a co-worker. So to all of the people in the comments saying "just don't have anything to do with narcissists," that's good advice but not always possible. Sometimes a co-worker is a narcissist and you have to deal with them regularly. This is extremely helpful for situations like that.

It's like teaching a child to regulate emotions but directed to an adult which is exhausting

Calling out a narcissist’s manipulative behaviour WILL be perceived as an attack

I just feel so exhausted that lately all I’ve been doing with my husband when he starts his tactics (blame shifting, gaslighting, etc) all I say is “I see what you’re trying to do and I’m not participating” and walk away.

They want you to get emotional, they want you to explain yourself, they want you to doubt yourself. Once you allow it, you’ve already lost. Ignore them, that will drive them crazy. They are not interested in problem solving, they mostly create problems out of nothing. If you need to ask “what is this actually about?”, then you already know what’s going on

I believe that you cannot make any kind of real relationship with a manipulator whether narcissist, sociopath or psychopath. So, those who are hoping that what Hughes says will help create/better a long-term relationship, they will be disappointed. His advice is for the short-term. I divorced my "diagnosed psychopath" after trying every conversational, psychological, logical, faith-based, etc. method. I eventually had to realize that nothing will work for a long-term marriage/relationship. Even after the divorce he kept trying to come back. I forced myself to say "NO" every time. It broke my heart but I am now free to be myself.