Database Administrator Interview with a DBA with Walter Wallis - aired on the DBA 2026. Sponsored by Jetbrains: https://www.jetbrains.com/idea/ credits: some jokes from twitter @DEVOPS_BORAT and derivative channels. Programmerhumor Programming jokes Vim Prod is down Serverless Database reliability engineer MySQL Oncall Server room Oracle db #programming #jokes #database
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"A man tried to put a a backdoor in Linux last March. They caught him because of a 500 milliseconds latency spike. I would have noticed from the changed fan pitch" 🤣🤣🤣
The magic of Oracle DB is that you can replace this guy with an entire team
Skynet is powerless if this guy pulls one cable.
"I smell an inefficient join". Oh man thats real
Accurate. DBAs use light mode because it discourages looking at the screen.
“I’ve reached the highest level of administration: the Single Point of Failure.”
"Eventual consistency.... rather than data loss" what a bar, im stealing that 😂
"I unplug one cable, and this company dies, faster than it already does."
“When MySQL has a good day, I wait for Ops to fix the monitoring” — the voice of experience, ladies and gents
"Weve been migrating off oracle since 2006" 🤣
"I dont have prod access. I lost it - "
"CEO doesn't even know what a server is and I am not payed to explain it" 😂
"SLA only applies when it's being measured"
"My Quarterly goal is doing nothing" thank you sir, you are an inspiration
"I'll set the query cache to 1GB. For three minutes we believed in miracles." Ouch, man. Just... ouch.
"to make MySQL highly available, we store it at the top of the server rack" checks out 😂
As a junior analyst, I once accidentally ran a cross join and locked up the main database. The DBA hunted me down at my desk like the Terminator and loomed over me until I fixed it. I never ever made that mistake again.
This guy is too good. The knee jerk reaction to "Could you", and the automatic "Why do you need it?" as a default answer. It must be that we worked at the same company
"I have to go home at 3:30 AM" 😂
Bro got his job because he knows how to run an EXPLAIN query